When so much at happens at once....

Phew....The last week has been mad!

It was my birthday last Thursday and I am not exaggerating when I say that it was the worst one I've had.

I'm not sleeping in the cupboard anymore, in fact I'm not even in the house anymore...sigh...

Wednesday night all hell was let loose when we had a major row and she wanted me out then and there. Where was I to go? She wasn't concerned about that....OUT!

That night I was preparing myself to sleep in my car, an old ex wouldn't allow that and she offered her house for the night. I will be forever amazed and in debt to her, someone who I thought would be the last person to be there for me, was the first....That means a lot to me.

After that my rugby captain offered her flat to me for the weekend which again was a great help. I am still in the process of selling my bike, so until I get the money from that (still has 3 days to go on Ebay) I have to live from day to day seeking refuge from my rugby mates!

Another friend of mine has potentially got a place for me to live, however his son stays there 2 weekends out of every month so he wants to ask him how he feels about it before saying yes to me. Also he will be having inlaws over for Xmas and New Years so the room wouldn't be open to me until next year. So...I'm homeless!

The Police have slashed their induction places, I was told that I have a possible 6-12 month wait on my start date....BIG bummer for me because I'm ready to get stuck in, I need something to focus on! So I'm still driving lorries, however my agency was based in Kent, I haven't worked since Thursday last week and I'm worried about money, especially with Xmas. So....I'm jobless!

For so long (about a year now) I've used the analogy of having this light at the end of a tunnel....All my goals where there, just a little out of reach. I kept going because I knew that soon, I'd be able to grab them all and get on with a great life. I have SO much potential that I'm looking forward to fufilling, I just needed to wait a little bit longer. A year on and I'm no further...If anything, I'm behind.

I know I'm a victim of my own circumstance and that It is very easy to feel sorry for myself with what's going on, and I know that my goals, that light at the end of that tunnel will be in reach one day....But that "one day" is painfully close whilst being painfully far away. Running out of optimism and patience.

So it's Monday, I am moping around with my life because I have nothing else to do.......